YOUR Views: Star Wars nerd sounds off, Palin responds

Sarah Palin doesn't share a Star Wars nerd's (left) fondness for liberal Yaddle (right).

We received this email from a concerned reader regarding a recent story:

Beryl Evans’ exposé on the ‘guy who names hurricanes after Star Wars villains’ was, without a doubt, the WORST Wacky Deli article EVER. Ms. Evans’ infinitesimal knowledge of even basic Star Wars lore is both appalling and shocking in its scope. To include Yaddle in a list of Star Wars ‘villains’ belies the fact that she is a staunch master of the Light side of the Force, and member of the Jedi Council in high standing.

I would appreciate it if Ms. Evans would correct this misinformation, as it is highly annoying and demeans the sacrifices of the hundreds of Jedi who perished in the Great Jedi Purge, as well as those true victims of the Empire’s tyrannical oppression.

Denny Dennis
Supreme Chancellor of the Yaddle Fan Club
Atlanta, Georgia

Unfortunately, Wacky Deli writer Beryl Evans was injured in a freak circus fire and cannot currently speak, write or in any way respond to the letter. However, to defend Beryl, the Wacky Deli has asked frequent guest contributor, FORMER ALASKA GOV. SARAH PALIN, to address the issue.

Dear Denny,

Now listen here, I dunno what type of education they’ve been givin’ ya down in Atlantis, but I am gonna set the record straight on this here Star Wars thingy.

If ya had been readin’ up and done your homework, ya woulda known this Yaddle babe was more than just a lady Yoda in baglady duds. Back in the day, she was one of her galaxy’s leadin’ advocates of socialized medicine. In fact, she SPONSORED the bill that started rationin’ health care for old alien folks on those planets far, far away. And it wasn’t long before they started settin’ up some death panels and sending billions of green geezers to their early graves, and raisin’ taxes to pay for it all.

That’d be villainy in my book, Tubby. You can defend her freedom hatin’ ways as much as ya like, but to me and millions of patriotic, moose huntin’ Americans she’s just another socialist lovin’, gun grabbin’, tax hikin’ member of the evil liberal elite.

Hugs and kisses,
Future US President Sarah Palin

WACKY GUEST COMMENTARY by former President Calvin Coolidge

We are pleased to welcome former President Calvin Coolidge as our newest contributor to the Wacky Deli!

Mr. Coolidge, the first Vaudeville-American elected president, served in the White House from 1923 until 1929. He oversaw America during the “Roaring Twenties” – a time noted for its booming economy, Art Deco speakeasies, and thousands of bitter quotations by author Gertrude Stein.

During his Presidency, Mr. Coolidge made history by being the first person to foxtrot non-stop across the Atlantic Ocean. He also won praise as a trailblazer for women’s rights by appointing six flappers and three Mae West impersonators to his Cabinet.

Mr. Coolidge was known as “Silent Cal” during his time in office for rarely talking and having a quiet, acidic demeanor. One time, when a female dinner guest informed him she bet her friend she could make him say more than two words, the President famously replied: “F*** you.”

Today, the former President has  agreed to write a guest commentary regarding his thoughts on President Obama’s stimulus plan; specifically how it will impact the U.S. economy, whether it will generate the momentum necessary to stabilize the financial markets, and its effect on America’s long-term debt.

Without further adieu, take it away Mr. President!

The Impact of the Obama Stimulus Plan on the US Economy

by President Calvin Coolidge

July 21, 2009

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“Won’t work.”

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